Ready to Leave.

So your goal is to quit your job someday and be an entrepreneur? Are you just biding time until you save enough to finally quit your day job and be free? If you don’t want to get trapped in the corporate life, then you need to do everything in your power to not get sucked into it.

When I looked around at the people in my old team, I genuinely believed that more than half of them were there for no other reason than the free breakfast. If people had the same enthusiasm for the job they were doing as they did for the free breakfast, their careers would be in a much better place. So would their waistline. From the companies perspective, it’s a great move. An ingenious way to retain people at the company and working for a lower pay by saying we provide “great benefits.” It’s bread and butter! Jesus fucking Christ could the bar be set any lower?!!

So if you’re really serious about becoming an entrepreneur then here is the list of things that you need to watch out for.

Steady Income: Ok, this is a big one. I know this is the main reason that 80% of the people go to work. The other 15% probably because they need to get out of the house cos their spouse is driving them crazy, and the remaining few actually like their jobs. So there’s no getting around it. Steady pay is like cocaine. It’s addictive and in many ways can ruin your dreams. Find a way to get around it. Put your salary in an account that you can’t see. Put it straight into an ‘after I quit’ fund. Donate it. Do anything other than buying useless shit with it. If you get addicted to buying unnecessary things, then you will forever be chained to that steady income.

‘The three most harmful addictions are heroin, carbohydrates, and a monthly salary.’

— Nassim Nicholas Taleb

Free breakfast: We talked about this already but fuck it. Seriously, if you’re going to the office because they have free breakfast then just kill yourself. Or eat at home. Eat the same thing that your office would have provided but with your money just so you are not going to the office for the fucking breakfast. Your Co-workers will look at you funny, but who cares, they are losers and secretly hate themselves for being there eating the same crap every day too. Or stop having breakfast altogether. Tell everyone you’re doing intermittent fasting while you secretly eat breakfast in the bathroom or better yet just do intermittent fasting. Breakfast is overrated. It’s time you got on with the program.

Free fruits: Jesus Christ, you hope to someday quit and build your own company, but you can’t buy your own fruits? Bloody hell. Stop eating their fruits. If you want to make a point, get your own banana, take it out of your bag, peel it slowly and eat it while staring directly at the eyes of your manager just to make a fucking point. And don’t be that douchebag who’s taking the fruits home. I know you do that sometimes. Buy your own goddamn apple.

Free coffee: Unless it’s the worlds most expensive coffee that is directly sourced from Indonesia and your company raised that civet cat that poops the kopi luwak coffee directly into your coffee mug, get your own damn coffee. Or get a Starbucks coffee to go just like your teenage niece.

Free Lunch: Put yourself on a chicken breast and broccoli diet. It tastes like shit no matter who makes it. Tell your co-workers you’re boycotting the office lunch because it’s not “organic” enough and order from that vegan place next door that smells like cow dung. But if your office provides free catered lunch though, I’ll admit it, that’s pretty cool.

Car plans: Nope, no company car for you good fella. Take the fucking bus. Tell everyone it’s cos you want to save the environment but you and I both know you can’t afford a Tesla. Better yet, bike to the office. If nothing turns out from this advice list, at least you’ll get fit or be hated at the office. Ideally, you should aim for both.

Insurance: Get your own private insurance and do the same for your family. Don’t let anybody own you. You have no idea how many people are afraid of leaving their jobs cos god forbid something happens to them. When was the last time you went to the hospital? Get private insurance and stop worrying that lighting will strike you.

GYM: Fix a pull-up and a Dip bar and set up a squat rack in your garage. That’s basically all you need.

Now you’re mentally set to break up with your company. You’re there only cos you are working on your skills and working on your side venture till it takes off and that’s it. Your company has no leverage on you, and it doesn’t own you, and you are ready to walk out of there any fucking day, no questions asked.

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